Day #6

To read today's prompt, click here.


"Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live." - Emerson


At theatre school, we were once given an exercise in which we had to draw where we were now and where we imagined we'd be five years in the future. Though I can't remember the specifics of my "now," I do recall that I entitled it "Waiting For It". My teacher circled the title in a thick red sharpie and wrote, "if you're just waiting for it, you'll never get it." At the time, I was resentful. How easy it must have been for her to write that, I thought; she's already living her dreams of working as an actor. Soon after that, I left school and although it wasn't because of that experience, my ever-growing resentment of the institution I was studying at was a big part of it.


Fast-forward ten years, and here I am working towards a different goal but nonetheless waiting for it in a lot of ways. I still find myself struggling with feelings of resentments when friends and acquaintances get ahead because of what often seems to me to be excessively cocky behaviour. What I'm beginning to understand is that what I reflexively perceive as cocky is really just self-confidence, or at the very least the result of an inner belief on the part of people that what they have to offer has value and deserves to see the light of day. 


My struggle now is to develop that belief within myself. To echo a post from a few days ago, I'm beginning to take small (and trying to make consistent) steps towards my dreams. Remaining strong in the knowledge that good things will come if I actively work for what I want instead of waiting for a fairy godmother to shepherd me off to the ball isn't always easy, and I fail more days than I succeed, but I'm fighting the good fight. I encourage you all to do the same; it's how we'll change the world.